000057
000001:1150873085.902302,1,'strangles $who with a doohicky mouse cord'
000002:1150873161.7318439,1,"""pours hot grits down the front of $who's pants"""
000003:1150873175.1154349,1,'beats $who senseless with a 50lb Unix manual'
000004:1150873544.0124331,1,'whacks $who with the cluebat'
000005:1150873549.5681801,1,"""resizes $who's terminal to 40x24"""
000006:1150873567.3416319,1,'drops a truckload of VAXen on $who'
000007:1150873584.5915289,1,"""pulls out his louisville slugger and uses $who's head to break the homerun record"""
000008:1150873593.953506,1,'stabs $who'
000009:1150873602.0038359,1,"""steals $who's mojo"""
000010:1150873625.408884,1,'holds $who to the floor and spanks him with a cat-o-nine-tails'
000011:1150873635.824439,1,"""installs WindowsME on $who's computer"""
000012:1150873676.669996,1,'makes Jack Bauer chase $who'
000013:1150873684.938952,1,'pushes the wall down onto $who whilst whistling innocently'
000014:1150873708.7875321,1,'--purges $who'
000015:1150873726.932162,1,'decapitates $who conan the destroyer style'
000016:1150873745.169296,1,"""cats /dev/urandom into $who's ear"""
000017:1150873762.182699,1,"""does a little 'renice 20 -u $who'"""
000018:1150880977.1693139,1,"""tackles $who, sits on $who and starts scratching at $who's chest"""
000019:1151419669.2793391,1,'slaps $who with a soggy sock'
000020:1151962663.4319079,1,'drops $who from a helicopter 5 miles in the sky. Without parachute'
000021:1152091319.803565,1,'throws $who into /dev/null'
000022:1152805300.7266941,1,'chases $who with a big pointy stick'
000023:1152920154.2286861,1,'smacks $who with a big clue-by-four'
000024:1153087484.0331881,1,'bites $who'
000025:1153135286.679605,1,'sends FesterAnvil hurtling through the sky to land on $who'
000026:1153600051.46187,1,'shoots $who in the face with a rocket'
000027:1153769010.2483661,1,'@$chan:~$ deluser $who'
000028:1154013487.0735919,1,'thwacks $who with a BIG POINTY HOBBSЕЕ OF DOOM'
000029:1154449886.891526,1,"""tickles $who's feet with a feather"""
000030:1154456213.370611,1,'splats $who with a large hammer'
000031:1155921496.616538,1,'divides $who by zero'
000032:1166737658.117898,1,"""sets $who's keyboard layout to gaelic"""
000033:1169714572.779995,7,"""breaks $who's machine by running automatix on it. Twice."""
000034:1169826693.3914869,7,'gets the neuraliser out and points it at $who'
000035:1170410240.286854,1,'smacks $who with a vista DVD. COOTIES!'
000036:1170410622.2356141,1,'spanks $who with a pink tutu'
000037:1170410687.610502,1,'shows $who a photo of mneptok: http://tinyurl.com/yv5q8h'
000037:1173736572.6347821,1,'forces $who to use perl for 3 weeks'
000038:1173736775.8736949,1,'forces $who to use perl for 3 weeks'
000039:1173736803.2703841,1,'pokes $who in the eye'
000040:1173736823.520009,1,'signs $who up for AOL'
000041:1173736843.5446689,1,'enrolls $who in Visual Basic 101'
000042:1173736857.85535,1,'judo chops $who'
000043:1173736906.7716081,1,'sells $who on E-Bay'
000044:1173736913.094003,1,'forces $who to use emacs for 3 weeks'
000045:1173736933.924052,1,"""puts alias vim=emacs in $who's /etc/profile"""
000046:1173736963.118736,1,'reads $who some vogon poetry'
000047:1173736973.826055,1,'puts $who in the Total Perspective Vortex'
000048:1173736987.6467011,1,'uses $who as a biological warfare study'
000049:1173737029.025836,1,"""pierces $who's nose with a rusty paper hole puncher"""
000050:1173737055.204941,1,'pokes $who with a rusty nail'
000051:1173889239.086617,1,'files $who under the L for lame'
000052:1176764275.6553509,1,'forces $who to talk in reverse polish notation for the rest of the year'
000053:1181421701.938509,1,"""slurps up all of $who's memory by installing vista"""
000054:1185565575.1513309,1,"""replaces Ubuntu with Windows Vista on $who's PC"""
000055:1186343260.1562171,1,"""annihilates $who's hearing by screaming louder than an arnieboy who got pwned by mjg59"""
000056:1200150976.9736941,1,'forces $who to write an operating system in Logo'