51 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
51 lines
3.0 KiB
Plaintext
I demand that I am Vroomfondel
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Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so
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Oh no, not again!
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Beware of the Leopard
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In, as you say, the mud
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The mere though hasn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind
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Did I do anything wrong today or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice
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This must be Thursday, I never could get the hang of Thursdays
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Drink up, the world's about to end
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That is really amazing. That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I'd like to steal it
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If I asked you where the hell we were, eould I regret it?
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Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of
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Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it
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The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat
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Don't panic!
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This is your captain speaking, so stop whatever you're doing and pay attention
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If you're very lucky, I might read you some of my poetry first
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What's so unpleasant about being drunk?
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Oh dear, says god, I hadn't thought of that. And prompty vanishes in a puff of logic
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Either die in the vacuum of space, or tell me how good you thought my poem was
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Resistance is useless!
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Take the prisoners to number tree airlock and throw them out
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Da da da dum!
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Space is big. Really big. You won't believe how vastly hugely mind-boggingly big it is
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Bright idea of mine, to find a passing spaceship and get rescued by it
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Don't knock it, it worked
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Two to the power of one hundred thousand to one against and falling
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My legs are drifting off into the sunset
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The point is that I am now a perfectly safe penguin
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We have normality, I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem
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Okay, so ten out of ten for style, but minus several millions for good thinking, yeah?
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I think you ought to know, I'm feeling very depressed
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Life, don't talk to me about life
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Please do not press this button again
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To everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together guys
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If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now
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Did you realize that most people's lives are governed by telephone numbers?
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Hey doll, is this guy boring you? Why don't you talk to me instead? I'm from a different planet
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I'll sue the council for every penny it's got!
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Please enjoy your walk through this door
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Glad to be of service
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In these enlightened days, of course, no one believes a word of it
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I can even work out your personality problems to ten decimal places if it will help
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Is there any tea on this spaceship?
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Hey, this is terrific! Someone down there is trying to kill us
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so, let's call it my stomach
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But what are you supposed to do with a manically depressed robot?
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My white mice have escaped!
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I can see this relationship is something we're all going to have to work at
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Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
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